Okay, I believe you, but my tommy gun don't.

[skyfyre]

Today I watched the TOS episode A Piece of the Action, or, has it shall henceforth be known, Gangsters in SPACE! Because that's what it was.

I'm really not sure where to start. I mean. Gangsters. Gangsters. They land on a planet where men just walk around with tommy guns and the women, while not carrying tommy guns (and how unfair is that?) do have hand guns of some kind and wear hats that I envy. Seriously, why did those hats go out of fashion? I would look so cute in one!

...

Anyway.

You want to know how good Scotty is at his job? The only directions he had was "an intersection with a yellow fire hydrant". And you know what? He found that hydrant. Because he's Montgomery goddamn Scott and if given the instructions "That place. With the thing. You know?" he could find it. That's why he's assigned to the Enterprise. To be the only competent person on board.

Well, him and Doctor McCoy. Who is such a good doctor that he can declare someone dead with out properly examining him or even, really, looking at him. He was able to feel the life leave that man's body. I HAVE TO BELIEVE THIS.

My beloved elder brother made fun of the show for having gangsters and of me for watching it. I told him that a) Gangsters are awesome, b) The setting isn't exactly the point, it's the people involved, c) It makes more sense than the Nazi Germany planet* and d) he's a jerk. Really, the reason this episode existed was to make use of old props and put William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy in awesome suits and have everyone waving around tommy guns. And because gangsters are awesome.

I also love how incredibly incompetent the crew of the Enterprise is at doing just about anything. Seriously, every time they went and saw someone on that planet they got kidnapped at gun point. Never mind that they had superior training and technology, the power of the suit overwhelmed them. It was only after they got suits of their own that everything really started going their way.

And by "of their own", I mean Kirk went and stripped a couple of guys! And he didn't even buy them dinner first! For shame, sir. You have a reputation to keep up, remember.

It's great, by the way, how the suits fit them perfectly. Very fortuitous.

And Captain Kirk can't drive a car. He in fact fails at it. I'm sure that if the car was capable of being seduced, he would have been all over it, though. (Perhaps not with his Vulcan boyfriend right there? Did Kirk ever seduce any one where Spock could see him?)

Twin decided that given the rules of Fizzwig that Kirk stated, Spock could probably come up with the actual game. And then beat everyone at it. Like a boss.

I decided that if Uhura had gone down to the planet she could have understood all their slang and used it right back at them. Only without sounding as douchey as Captain Kirk. Because she's a linguist and linguists will eventually take over the world**.

Is it bad, that when Scotty beamed one of the crime lords from one point on the planet to the another point on the planet my first reaction was "BUT NEITHER END HAD A PROPER TRANSPORTER PAD, YOU CAN'T BEAM WITH OUT ONE D:"? Because I did. Because I am a geek. Yes.

I also watched The Gamesters of Triskelion yesterday and I have to wonder why the higher life forms/disembodied brains were gambling on kidnapped gladiators and what they were gambling with. I mean, does Triskelion have any sort of economy at all? Do they have a means of exchanging their- what I assume was- monetary units? And it's good to know that there's no situation that Kirk won't seduce his way out of if he can. And with his shirt off, too! Bless his little heart.

*I haven't actually watched the Nazi Germany episode yet, but I can't imagine how they can have that make sense. I mean, Nazi Germany had reasons for existing. There was a clear line of events that lead up to Nazis. Compared to that, anybody can turn into gangsters.
**I ask my linguist overlords to remember their humble servant skyfyre and think well upon her.