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Wink of an Eye
Scotty: So, we’re orbiting a planet in distress. Not that the away party can tell, what with the lack of anything in distress on the planet.
Kirk: Guys, are we sure there’s something happening here?
Spock: *says something, idk, I don’t pay attention to what Spock says anymore.*
Bones: Hey, guys, I don’t want anyone to panic, but the red-shirt we brought with us just disappeared. That was weird.
Kirk: Well, shit. We're starting to run out of red-shirts.
Kirk: All right! Explanations, people!
Uhura: I’d be awesome and give you some, but my console is malfunctioning.
Sulu: Umm, mine is, too.
Kirk: Well, that can't be good.
Bones: Hey, Jim, time for your post-away mission physical.
Kirk: I’m busy. I have this broken ship, you see.
Bones: Oh, hell no. Everyone else had to do it, you have to do it. Captain’s orders, bitch.
Chapel: I'm just gonna mention that someone's been rummaging around the medical cabinets. Not naming any names, but I think Doctor McCoy has lost is bottle of brandy. Again.
Bones: All right, let's get physical. I mean, let's start you're physical. Yes.
Buzzing: *buzzes*
Kirk: OMG, WHAT IS THAT SOUND.
Bones: ... What sound?
Kirk: That buzzing! Bones, am I hallucinating?
Bones: Well, probably not, you're young and look healthy, at least. If you lie back down, then I can finish checking you over, maybe add a few more tests....
Kirk: If I'm not hallucinating, then the only possible explanation is that an intruder has beamed aboard the ship.
Me: Whatever. Occam's Razor says you're nuts.
Kirk: Well, this blows. The Enterprise is malfunctioning, there's an alien thing next to our life support system that we can't touch, and I am highly under caffinated.
Kirk: Thankfully, there's an answer to one of these problems.
Kirk: *drinks some coffee*
Coffee: *is drugged*
Kirk: Son of a bitch.
Deela: Come live with me and be my love!
Kirk: What?
Deela: Come live with me and be my love!
Kirk: Yeah, no. I got that bit. I mean what?
Deela: Oh! The everyone else slowing down thing! Yeah, I drugged you. Now you can move as fast as me and my people. You can move in the wink of an eye. Isn't this grand?
Kirk: I'm fairly certain it's not.
Deela's Not!Boyfriend: Okay, so the plan is that we're going to put your ship in a deep freeze so that we can steal people from your crew any time we want. Namely, when you eventually wither and die. Much like your red-shirt did after he got cut. Whoops.
Deela: Before you go and to that, though, you're going to help me repopulate my race! I guess. Most of our women are barren and our men are sterile, because of radioactivity. We're not really clear on our back story ourselves. I mean, it doesn't make any sense, does it? Isn't that annoying? Oh, well!
Kirk: Ummmm. I'm just gonna let my crew know about this in as sneaky a way as possible.
Deela: *sigh* You are so pretty.
Kirk: It helps that you're a ditz.
Spock: Hmmm. The captain has disappeared. I suppose I shall go and solve all our problems.
Bones: Yeah, whatever. You go do that.
Kirk: *sleeps with the problem*.
The problem: *isn't solved*.
Kirk: Well, at least I feel better about it.
Kirk: So, can I go be your love slave down on the planet now?
Deela: Omg! You mean it? I love when they finally give up!
Kirk: Yup. By the way, I in no way sabotaged the transport so we can't get out, delaying everything just long enough for Spock to come and save me.
Deela: What?
Kirk: Could you make your not!boyfriend stop trying to kill me? Please?
Kirk: Hey, can I borrow your phaser?
Deela: Yeah, sure!
Kirk: *runs off, armed*
Deela: Oh, I hate when that happens!
Spock: *drinks some of the planet's water*
Spock: *is hyper-accelerated*
Spock: *is now here to save the day*
Kirk: Spock! Awesome! Now that you're here, the episode can finally end! You would think that running around faster than everyone else would be totally awesome, but it really isn't. Let me tell you, one of my childhood dreams has been crushed.
Spock: Indeed, Captain.
Our Heroes: *save the day*
Deela: If you leave, my people will die.
Kirk: I am surprisingly cool with that.
Deela: I love you so much.
Kirk: Yeah, most people do.
Scotty: Captain! You're here again! Where's Spock?
Kirk: Hmmm? Oh, he's still being super speedy. He decided that he just hasn't been awesome enough this episode, so he's doing some really fast repairs.
Scotty: Do you think he'll repair the still right out of engineering?
Kirk: We can check later.
Spock: *returns to normal speed*
Kirk: So, how was it?
Spock: I found it... an accelerating experience.
Me: ... Spock. Never speak again.
That was a boring episode. Here, I thought that going nowhere fast was supposed to be fun. I almost missed Chekov. At least when he's there, my hated for him gives me something to do during the episode.
Kirk: Guys, are we sure there’s something happening here?
Spock: *says something, idk, I don’t pay attention to what Spock says anymore.*
Bones: Hey, guys, I don’t want anyone to panic, but the red-shirt we brought with us just disappeared. That was weird.
Kirk: Well, shit. We're starting to run out of red-shirts.
Kirk: All right! Explanations, people!
Uhura: I’d be awesome and give you some, but my console is malfunctioning.
Sulu: Umm, mine is, too.
Kirk: Well, that can't be good.
Bones: Hey, Jim, time for your post-away mission physical.
Kirk: I’m busy. I have this broken ship, you see.
Bones: Oh, hell no. Everyone else had to do it, you have to do it. Captain’s orders, bitch.
Chapel: I'm just gonna mention that someone's been rummaging around the medical cabinets. Not naming any names, but I think Doctor McCoy has lost is bottle of brandy. Again.
Bones: All right, let's get physical. I mean, let's start you're physical. Yes.
Buzzing: *buzzes*
Kirk: OMG, WHAT IS THAT SOUND.
Bones: ... What sound?
Kirk: That buzzing! Bones, am I hallucinating?
Bones: Well, probably not, you're young and look healthy, at least. If you lie back down, then I can finish checking you over, maybe add a few more tests....
Kirk: If I'm not hallucinating, then the only possible explanation is that an intruder has beamed aboard the ship.
Me: Whatever. Occam's Razor says you're nuts.
Kirk: Well, this blows. The Enterprise is malfunctioning, there's an alien thing next to our life support system that we can't touch, and I am highly under caffinated.
Kirk: Thankfully, there's an answer to one of these problems.
Kirk: *drinks some coffee*
Coffee: *is drugged*
Kirk: Son of a bitch.
Deela: Come live with me and be my love!
Kirk: What?
Deela: Come live with me and be my love!
Kirk: Yeah, no. I got that bit. I mean what?
Deela: Oh! The everyone else slowing down thing! Yeah, I drugged you. Now you can move as fast as me and my people. You can move in the wink of an eye. Isn't this grand?
Kirk: I'm fairly certain it's not.
Deela's Not!Boyfriend: Okay, so the plan is that we're going to put your ship in a deep freeze so that we can steal people from your crew any time we want. Namely, when you eventually wither and die. Much like your red-shirt did after he got cut. Whoops.
Deela: Before you go and to that, though, you're going to help me repopulate my race! I guess. Most of our women are barren and our men are sterile, because of radioactivity. We're not really clear on our back story ourselves. I mean, it doesn't make any sense, does it? Isn't that annoying? Oh, well!
Kirk: Ummmm. I'm just gonna let my crew know about this in as sneaky a way as possible.
Deela: *sigh* You are so pretty.
Kirk: It helps that you're a ditz.
Spock: Hmmm. The captain has disappeared. I suppose I shall go and solve all our problems.
Bones: Yeah, whatever. You go do that.
Kirk: *sleeps with the problem*.
The problem: *isn't solved*.
Kirk: Well, at least I feel better about it.
Kirk: So, can I go be your love slave down on the planet now?
Deela: Omg! You mean it? I love when they finally give up!
Kirk: Yup. By the way, I in no way sabotaged the transport so we can't get out, delaying everything just long enough for Spock to come and save me.
Deela: What?
Kirk: Could you make your not!boyfriend stop trying to kill me? Please?
Kirk: Hey, can I borrow your phaser?
Deela: Yeah, sure!
Kirk: *runs off, armed*
Deela: Oh, I hate when that happens!
Spock: *drinks some of the planet's water*
Spock: *is hyper-accelerated*
Spock: *is now here to save the day*
Kirk: Spock! Awesome! Now that you're here, the episode can finally end! You would think that running around faster than everyone else would be totally awesome, but it really isn't. Let me tell you, one of my childhood dreams has been crushed.
Spock: Indeed, Captain.
Our Heroes: *save the day*
Deela: If you leave, my people will die.
Kirk: I am surprisingly cool with that.
Deela: I love you so much.
Kirk: Yeah, most people do.
Scotty: Captain! You're here again! Where's Spock?
Kirk: Hmmm? Oh, he's still being super speedy. He decided that he just hasn't been awesome enough this episode, so he's doing some really fast repairs.
Scotty: Do you think he'll repair the still right out of engineering?
Kirk: We can check later.
Spock: *returns to normal speed*
Kirk: So, how was it?
Spock: I found it... an accelerating experience.
Me: ... Spock. Never speak again.
That was a boring episode. Here, I thought that going nowhere fast was supposed to be fun. I almost missed Chekov. At least when he's there, my hated for him gives me something to do during the episode.
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